Care taking

Anyone can find themselves into a position of care taking at any time.  I took care of my late husband Dean in a hospice situation from April 16, 2001 until he died on November 12, 2004.  At the same time I was working a full time job as well as being a spiritual leader of Unity of Denton.  I entered Unity Field Licensing in order to become a full time ordained Unity minister  This program takes 4 years and is intense so I had a lot going on all at once.

When I took care of Dean, it was the best time for us.  We had time to talk  I read books out loud to him.  He was an ordained Unity minister and he still participated in the church even with oxygen.  Many people in the church still remember him leading meditation classes or teaching metaphysics with oxygen.  There were 2 other people with oxygen so they supported each other.  He had at one time been the manager of a plumbing supply company and "interestingly" I was hired at Hughes Supply which was a plumbing distribution company.  I would come home to talk to Dean about all the things that were going on at the company and he enjoyed hearing about all of it.

He reached a point where hospice required him to have 24 hour care.  I moved the church operations to my house and we had board meetings at my home.  His daughter who lived in Watauga came down every Sunday morning to take care of him so I could give the church service.  I sold things on Ebay to bring in extra money and the Bigleys at the church would come down to mail the sold items for me.  Kathryn who was the musician at church made him a special music CD.  All of these people were deeply appreciated.

My heart goes out to all the people who have care taking responsibilities.  It is challenging at times depending on what their situation is.  Dean was never in pain but he did hallucinate at times.  

My mentor in Field Licensing told me that I had to take care of myself.  It was difficult to do but I worked at "times out".  Hospice offered free counseling and I took full advantage of that.  The church was supportive and worked with me as I went through all the difficulties and challenges.

Dean died on the night before my mentor came down to hear me give my last talk for field licensing.  The church was having a Fall Party on the day after he died.  All of that is a blur but I knew I had to go through all the various activities.  The church had paid a lot of money for me to go through the ordination process and I wanted to do this last piece in spite of the timing.  I knew that Dean wanted me to go through it all too.

If you find yourself a care taker, it is essential to do the following:

• Pray for the person you are taking care of.
• Pray for yourself
• Find people who will support you
• Take advantage of any counseling that is offered.
• Know that even in the midst of the most challenging situations that come up you are never alone.