Making Difficult Decisions

My 98 year old mother has excellent blood test results, does not have a walker, sees without glasses, has no hearing aids, and is in good shape for her age.  The down side is that she is having a lot of short term memory problems which are becoming more severe.  She also is rapidly losing weight.

She lives in a very nice retirement community at Lake Forest (Good Sam's) with an apartment overlooking a lake and woods which she loves.  She eats lunch at the facility and has her hair done there every Friday morning without fail.

Today I went to see her and she said she was not feeling well.  She said she is very tired and has shortness of breath.  Her heart doctor told me that her heart is not in good shape and that she will be going through these kind of times.  I have a feeling that she has not been down to lunch because she has not bought her meal tickets.  I also noticed that she had skipped one day of her medicines. 

She loves being independent but I am seeing that something has to be done to ensure that she remembers to eat and take her medicines.  So I am at the point of making difficult decisions.

She could go to assisted living at the same place but I don't think she can afford it.  I could hire someone to give her her medicines each day and check in on her but again money may play a prohibitive role.  I am also changing my house around so that if she has to move in with me I will be ready. 

These kind of decisions are played out everyday in every family.  Now that baby boomers are growing older we will be seeing all of these decisions accelerate.

I have decided to approach this as I always do by "giving it up to God/Spirit" who knows the highest and best solution.  I think something will sort out and the decision will be obvious.  I want what is best for her and have appreciated her presence in my life.

Care taking

Anyone can find themselves into a position of care taking at any time.  I took care of my late husband Dean in a hospice situation from April 16, 2001 until he died on November 12, 2004.  At the same time I was working a full time job as well as being a spiritual leader of Unity of Denton.  I entered Unity Field Licensing in order to become a full time ordained Unity minister  This program takes 4 years and is intense so I had a lot going on all at once.

When I took care of Dean, it was the best time for us.  We had time to talk  I read books out loud to him.  He was an ordained Unity minister and he still participated in the church even with oxygen.  Many people in the church still remember him leading meditation classes or teaching metaphysics with oxygen.  There were 2 other people with oxygen so they supported each other.  He had at one time been the manager of a plumbing supply company and "interestingly" I was hired at Hughes Supply which was a plumbing distribution company.  I would come home to talk to Dean about all the things that were going on at the company and he enjoyed hearing about all of it.

He reached a point where hospice required him to have 24 hour care.  I moved the church operations to my house and we had board meetings at my home.  His daughter who lived in Watauga came down every Sunday morning to take care of him so I could give the church service.  I sold things on Ebay to bring in extra money and the Bigleys at the church would come down to mail the sold items for me.  Kathryn who was the musician at church made him a special music CD.  All of these people were deeply appreciated.

My heart goes out to all the people who have care taking responsibilities.  It is challenging at times depending on what their situation is.  Dean was never in pain but he did hallucinate at times.  

My mentor in Field Licensing told me that I had to take care of myself.  It was difficult to do but I worked at "times out".  Hospice offered free counseling and I took full advantage of that.  The church was supportive and worked with me as I went through all the difficulties and challenges.

Dean died on the night before my mentor came down to hear me give my last talk for field licensing.  The church was having a Fall Party on the day after he died.  All of that is a blur but I knew I had to go through all the various activities.  The church had paid a lot of money for me to go through the ordination process and I wanted to do this last piece in spite of the timing.  I knew that Dean wanted me to go through it all too.

If you find yourself a care taker, it is essential to do the following:

• Pray for the person you are taking care of.
• Pray for yourself
• Find people who will support you
• Take advantage of any counseling that is offered.
• Know that even in the midst of the most challenging situations that come up you are never alone.

Near Death Experience

I really believe that after we die we have what is termed a life review.  A lot of insight has been gathered in the last 50 years as doctors and family members begin to hear almost identical stories of people who have barely survived life saving surgery or accidents.  Because of the medical advances we have made more more people are surviving and these people claim to have gone through a tunnel of light to have a review of their life on earth.  These people also claim that this experience is what they believe we will all go through when our time on earth is over.  

When my late husband had a basal brain aneurysm in October of 1994, he went through a very complex brain surgery at Zale Lipshuy Hospital in Dallas, Texas.  For about a month, he seemed "lost" to me in as he made heroic efforts to come back to his normal state of mind.  

About 2 months after we were back home, he asked me what my late dad's middle name was.  I said Templeton.  Then he told me he had met my dad in the tunnel of light.  He then went on to say that he had left his body and went up a tunnel of light and met with 11 other beings of light in a beautiful building.  I had him write about it and he did.  Part of what he wrote is what follows:

"After a time of discussion another being appeared.  It was larger than the others and was intense pure light.  It did not sit any time during the communication that followed but did radiate an extreme amount of what I would call unconditional love.  All that I can remember is that it said to remember that spiritual unconditional love is all there and that I should utilize this idea back on earth.  

After the light being left, all twelve of us proceeded down a corridor to a large hall where there were throngs of beings of all kinds.  I must say of all kinds because to my memory, they were different due to the energy makeup.  This was a lesson to me that each of us radiates to our exterior the energy from the inner consciousness that causes the physical appearance that we humans see.  I now feel that every human being is pure energy radiating to cause a physical appearance that we accept in our human level consciousness.

The proceedings in ths large hall reminded me of a large social gathering on earth.  I knew several of the beings there and was introduced to others by the eleven beings that were with me  I do not remember whom I met or conversed with at the social gathering.

The next thing that transpired at the gathering was very important but I do not remember the details and was told later that I would not remember back on earth until it was timely.  There was a showing on the huge wall of future events that could happen in the cosmos.  I understood that the events could happen and probably would happen unless the consciousness of those involved changed from what it is at the present time.

The things I saw and heard inspired me to desire to return to earth and participate in the positive changes that would happen.  Some humans, from the physical level, would judge the changes as negative but if they knew the overall outcome of what was to be, they would understand that wonderful and great changes are coming.  It was at this time that I was accompanied to the exit to earth and was uplifted by the support of the eleven beings from the initial meeting.

As I prepared for departure, the beings reminded me of my previous desire and commitment to my purpose on earth and that it would be advantageous for me to return and accomplish what I had agreed to do.  They would help when asked and when it was possible to do so.

The next thing I remember is waking up back on earth riding an Exercycle in the hospital rehab.  This wake up time was one month and a few days after my fall at my job.  I do not remember anything on earth during the period I spent out of the physical body although everyone on earth who was around me at the time thought I was conscious during that time.  The chief surgeon told my family that I would not remember my hospital experience and he was right including that I do not remember any feelings of discomfort during the ordeal.

Since arriving back on the earth plane I have had a very interesting life.  When I judge the happenings by my physical intellectual consciousness, it has not all been good.  The most emotionally painful thing occurred when I was terminated by the company with whom I was employed.  In retrospect, I feel that I needed to leave that time consuming job to accomplish my purpose as I had promised.  To write this story and share with others oi part of my purpose."

After Dean's return to normal waking consciousness he and I committed ourselves to God to be led to the perfect outworking of our lives.  We were both willing to be open to any changes in our lives that might lead both of us to our purpose.  He kept talking about the importance of love and often said over and over "love is all there is".  He also felt strongly that I was to return to Denton to lead a spiritual center but I discounted that premise as I still had a bookstore and was living in Missouri.  I was absolutely amazed to find myself several years later being asked to try out for the position of spiritual leader of Unity of Denton and saw that he had probably somehow foreseen this event.  

This is the last of the series about our experience with his fall, surgery and near death experience  I hope that you have been able to find something of value for your own life.  We each have a special mission and a purpose in this life and the ultimate purpose in our lives is to express unconditional love.

Quote below is from Eben Alexander who was a neurosurgeon who had a near death experience.

How I Experienced the Power of Visualizing

I have been relating my experiences with my late husband, Dean Davis, when he had a basal brain aneurysm located in the worse part of the brain in October of 1994.  The location made it likely he would either die in surgery or suffer paralysis in some part of his body.  Miraculously, he made it through surgery.

At the time that Dean was experiencing a miracle in his recovery I was also praying for a financial miracle.  We had medical insurance through Dean's work but I was not sure what was being covered by his insurance.  Once my mother and I looked at the insurance manual and it was vaguely worded.  It looked very possible that I might be responsible for 20% of the cost of the expenses after the deductible was met.  We roughly figured what it could cost and I was amazed at the figure.  I decided to think about the cost when the bill was presented and not before.

Not only was I concerned about the surgery costs but I had to think about how to keep the bookstore going, pay its bills, and pay our personal bills.  I also did not know how long Dean's work checks would continue and how to deposit them.  And the quarterly taxes were due on the bookstore sales.

I decided that I would deal with what I could on the financial area and let go in mind and consciousness all the rest.  At night I placed all of my problems into God's hands.  I asked myself what the best case scenario of our situation would be.  I decided that I would visualize a complete recovery with Dean.  I also saw us taking a trip to the beach after Christmas with money in the bank.

The family support I had during the whole experience was wonderful.  I was able to stay with my mother while Dean was in the hospital.  She also loaned me some money to help with some of my bills for which I was very grateful.   Dean's children helped in making decisions and in other ways. 
Susan, my youngest daughter, volunteered to run my bookstore in which she had experience until January 17th when she had to be in college.   My bookstore landlord helped and supported my daughter and worked with me in payment of my bookstore rent.

The best financial news was that Dean's insurance paid for all of his hospitalization.  Dean continued to receive his checks from his work.

I had not shared my inner visualization with anyone about going on a vacation with money in the bank.  It just did not seem possible as Dean was expected to be in rehab for 6 months.  Another miracle occurred when Dean was released from rehab after just a little over a week.  His daughters gave him a gift of paying the motel room at Port Aransas, Texas right on the beach.  My vision came true as we did have money in the bank.

After Dean was released from the hospital, he shared with me that he had had a near death experience which I will share in my next blog.

Coping with Uncertainty

There are certain times in everyone's life when a change occurs that brings on uncertainty.  The future may seem uncertain and our way to go through a challenge seems unclear.

I felt all of these emotions after my late husband's Dean's "successful" surgery to clip a basal aneurysm.  He made it physically through the surgery but mentally he was not himself

Dean had a long way to go in recovering and there were many anxious moments in his recovery as we later discovered that the odds were dismal in making it through a recovery.  The first week after surgery it looked as if Dean might have to have open heart surgery but he had an excellent angiogram so it was a false alarm.  Next it looked as if he might have to have a shunt surgery as the fluid in his brain was not draining properly.  To our relief that passed.

The worst problem was in dealing with his thinking.  For several weeks he was saying things that did not make sense.  The doctors told us that he would not remember being in the hospital and to our amazement they were right.  The staff even told us he could be mentally impaired for the rest of his life.  He was assigned physical therapy and he "woke up" on an exercycle with no memory of his stay in the hospital.

Every time I became discouraged or fearful, I would go to the hospital chapel and pray and it would amaze me at how quickly a situation would resolve.

Tomorrow I will share how I dealt with the tremendous financial challenges that came my way.

When There is Nothing More to Do

All of us have points in our life when we have done all we can do and we can either try to make it on our own thinking or we can connect to the energy of the universe through prayer.  Prayer is letting go and allowing the healing energy of God to work in any situation.  One of the best known prayer is the Prayer of Protection by James Dillet Freeman.

The light of God surrounds us,
The love of God enfolds us,
The power of God protects us,
The presence of God watches over us.
Wherever we are, God is, and all is well

I personally experienced the power of prayer on the night and day of my late husband's surgery to "clip" a basal aneurysm.  We were at the Zale Lipshy Hospital in Dallas, Texas where a doctor from the UT Southwestern Medical Center were going to operate on Dean.  Dean had come back to normal awareness as the bleeding in his brain began to heal.  He would take deep meditative breaths when the staff would examine him.  One person recognized that he meditated and talked to him about meditation.  Soon he had other staff coming into his room to talk to him about meditation and all of a sudden he became the "guru" of the staff.

One interesting thing happened when I requested that a subliminal self healing music tape be played in his operating room.  The staff was immediately interested and said that they had been experimenting with music during surgery.

Dean called people to say his good-byes the night before the surgery after hearing the grim statistics doe his survival.  The day of Dean's surgery was on a Sunday which is a quiet day for most hospitals for surgeries.  My mother and sister waited with me in the waiting room which was strangely quiet.

 I decided to to to the chapel and pray.  As I meditated in the hospital chapel, a thought came to me that maybe it would help if Dean's brain in my visualization could light up so that the surgeons could see clearly and guide the delicate instruments inside Dean's brain.  To my surprise I instantaneously "saw" Dean's brain light up in my mind's eye and I heard the surgeons say "This is not as bad as I thought it would be".

I felt a sense of completion with the prayer and meditation and made my way to the surgery waiting room.  A few minutes later I met the surgeon who wanted to meet me and he said, "I have looked at Dean's catsans and this is not as as bad as I thought it would be".

During his surgery I laid down on the hospital couch and affirmed over and over the Unity Prayer of Protection.  After only 3 hours of surgery, the surgeon came back and said the operation was a success and that even in spite of the dangerous proximity to the brain stem, the aneurysm had been successfully clipped.

After Dean awakened, the doctors tested his reflexes and we were elated to know that he was not paralyzed.   This was just the beginning of his recovery.  I will share more tomorrow about his battles to come back to full awareness.

When we are experiencing major upheavals in life, we sometimes dream about storms at night.  Storms in dreams such as tornadoes or hurricanes represent major challenges that we have.  We wonder how in the world we will go through the storms and come out ok. 

Yesterday I shared how I found out the seriousness of my late husband's aneurysm.  It could burst at anytime.  Below is my experience of flying in a small plane through storms in order to save Dean's life.

Dean's neurosurgeon in Springfield, Missouri told me and Dean's 3 children in a conference that he only saw one of these aneurysms in a year.  The aneurysm was located close to the brain stem in a very difficult to reach location in the brain.  He recommended a surgeon in Dallas, Texas.  Dean would have to be accepted as a patient and air ambulanced to Dallas.

I was tired, worried and wondering how everything would work out.  I owned a bookstore and there were both personal and business bills to pay in addition to the main concern about whether Dean would survive.

Prayer groups and individuals had begun to pray for Dean.  It still amazes me to look back at this time period and see how all the little details began to fit together.

The doctor in Dallas accepted Dean as a patient.  Miraculously Dean's medical insurance agreed to pay the entire bill including the air ambulance ride to Dallas.  The air ambulance was contracted and I was allowed to ride as a passenger.  My youngest daughter offered to run the bookstore until January when she would be starting college.  She offered to do this at the cost of a babysitter for her son.  I would be able to live with my mother in a suburb close to the hospital and use her car.  The hospital was closer to all of Dean's children who lived in Texas.  I began to find hope.

On Friday, October 2, 1994 I woke up eager to ride with Dean on the plane but it was a stormy day with predictions of possible tornadoes.  All air flight from Springfield was grounded.  The pilot told me that he would proceed to Dallas but that I would need to prepare to be tossed in the small Cessna. 

I do not like the small bumps that occur in large airplanes.  As we entered the first stormy cloud bank, the male nurse offered medication to me.  I told him that unless it knocked me totally out I did not want it.  I said silently to myself "God is my co-pilot". 

When we landed at Love Field, I was amazed.  There had not been a single bump through all the storm cloud banks.  The pilot was also amazed.  At the hospital, I was surprised to find out that all of Dean's children were still at the Springfield airport because of the bad weather conditions.  Code Grey was being called out on the hospital loud speaker system which I soon found out was a warning to take safety in the hospital hall from possible tornadoes being spotted in Dallas.  The hospital lost power twice because of lightning strikes.  The medical staff told me to be thankful that Dean was not in surgery because the power outages might have had an adverse reaction on the success of his surgery. 

I feel like prayer was key throughout Dean's entire experience.  All of us have this same connection to God/Spirit when we are going through "stormy" experiences.  Tomorrow I will share more of the power of prayer as Dean prepares for surgery.

One of Those Time Periods

As a Unity minister I have the privilege to be privy to a lot of confidential prayer work and sharing by congregants with what is happening in their lives.  Lately I have been seeing a lot more problems going on with congregants.

I think we go through time periods when several people go through things that are serious at the same time.  I have seen people experiencing situations that are overwhelming with relationships, health, finances, etc.  At these times it feels like nothing is ever going to feel good again.

Coincidentally at the same time I  have been going through old files.  I came across a newsletter from 1998 when I was a spiritual leader at Unity of Ft. Smith, Arkansas.  I included Part 1 about my late husband, Dean Davis', fight to survive.  Several well known people in the Unity movement followed this account so I thought I would share what I wrote in hopes that it may give inspiration to those who are struggling right now.

Dean and His Aneurysm

In the Fall of 1994 at Branson West, Missouri, Dean was overcome by fumes from a truck at his worksite and fell.  As a result of the fall, a basal aneurysm burst in his brain.  It self-healed (a few seconds more of bleeding and he would have died).  After a catscan the doctor gave a very grim prognosis.  Dean had a very rare aneurysm located at the worst possible location in the brain close to the brain stem.  One third of the people die when the aneurysm bursts.  Those who survive have 1/3rd  chance to live until surgery.  1/2 of those who live to surgery die and the half that live usually end up with some type of paralysis.

Discouraged at the grim prognosis, I went to the hospital to pray and think.  As I sat down to pray, I was surprised to hear a black lady call my name.  I was very surprised anyone knew me by name as I had not talked to anyone in the waiting room.

She said I had done the right thing by coming to the chapel to pray and she told me that God was in charge.  She told me to take a red pen out of my purse and to write word for word on blank paper the 23rd Psalms and Psalm 91.  Then she left.  I did as she "suggested" and found that I had shifted my attention from the problem to God.

From the moment that I heard that Dean had fallen and was unconscious, I began to appreciate the small events that began to occur.  Gloria Dixon (Licensed Unity Teacher from Unity Christ Church in Branson) came 30 minutes early to teach a class down the hall from the bookstore that I owned and was there to pray with me the moment that I received the news that Dean was unconscious.  Another friend showed up and helped me arrange help for the bookstore.  And the "angel in the hospital"  helped me to think about God instead of the problem. 

I will continue this story tomorrow.

Family Memorabilia

When I was about 12 years ago I wrote to 3 of my Aunts and asked them to write an autobiography of their life.  I also asked my parents to do the same thing.  This alerted all of my relatives to the fact that I am interested in family history and I have been the recipient of family photos, genealogy, and mementos.

All of this has piled up and I am very reluctant to let things go as it is family history.  As I am emptying out my office area in preparation for making a scrapbooking room I have come across items that make me wonder what to do about keeping or letting go.

One item brought this up for me.  I have my Aunt's high school yearbook of 1931.  It is interesting to look at because of the way they dressed, the types of courses offered, comments made in the yearbook and the beautiful handwriting that we don't see any more.  But this yearbook is one that I will rarely look at but feel reluctant in letting go of it.  I also have the autograph book of my great grandmother, and other similar items.

I have the silverware of my great grandparents who ran a boarding house in Quanah, Texas.  There is enough for me to make shadow boxes and pass out various pieces along with a photo as background in the box for extended family.

I am hoping that one of my daughters or their children will show an interest in family memorabilia and I can pass items on.  I personally believe it is interesting and important to pass the history of a family to succeeding generations so that they can see the struggles and triumphs of their own family.  Right now I am not seeing an interest but sometimes this interest can spring up overnight.

I enjoyed world history in high school and history in general in college.  I think it is important to see where we came from as a people and how this has shaped our world today.

1962

I found a small 3 ring binder behind books yesterday as I continue to empty one room in order to get one room dedicated to hobbies and scrapbooks.  I discovered that this was a type of goal book for me put together in 1962.

I had made resolutions for 1962 when I was a sophomore in high school in Falls Church, Virginia.  Below are some of the 14 goals I had:

• Read the entire Bible
• Follow the Optimist Creed
• Write in diary everyday
• Wake up every morning and tell myself it's going to be a good day---sit down at breakfast table with a smile

Brushing my hair 100 strokes every day made me stop and think about the differences between today and 1962 in terms of how we take care of hair.  Brushing the hair was supposed to spread the oil evenly through the hair.  I have not heard much of that today.  

I was surprised to find that my goals were not that much different in the Vision book I have today. .  My spiritual life was very important to me as a 15 year old as well as being as positive as possible.  

I was curious to see what the Optimist Creed is and found the following online:

The Optimist Creed

Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble

Dress in Closet

The rule of thumb in keeping clothes is that if you don't wear the item within a certain amount of time, then it is time to get rid of it.  I have 2 items of clothing that are sentimental or have meaning for me.

One is an outfit that was given to me by my 2 daughters back in 1992.  It was a pants outfit and I knew at the time that they had sacrificed financially to give me that outfit. 

Another item is a red skirt and blouse.  When I had my bookstore in Branson, there was a woman's clothing store across from the store that sold fairly expensive clothes.  I would sometimes browse at the store and particularly admired the red dress and skirt.  The owner turned out to be a Unity student and asked my late husband to teach meditation and he complied.  One day she came to the bookstore and told me I could pick out an outfit for free and I immediately picked out the red skirt and blouse.

These items give me pleasure in remembering why they were given to me and good feelings arise each time I see them.  There is an exception to every rule and these 2 items are my exception.

Dreams

In all the papers I am going through I found a dream written on the day of my grandson's Garrett's birth on April 7, 1998.  He is now attending college at the University of Colorado at Boulder and in my dream I was in the Rockies attending a writing class.  My mother was there with heart problems which she now has.  There were other details too.  Right after I had the dream my son in law called me to say that my oldest daughter was in labor.  I found it odd that this dream was found 20 years later by me and Garrett is in the Rockies and my mother is having heart problems. 

I have found other interesting dreams which I am putting in a file folder.  Dreams are amazing and seem more complex than they actually are.  I will be talking about some of this in my Dream Workshop on the last Sunday of June.

Elves in the Night

Last night I came across an email correspondence between Polly Sherling and myself.  Polly was a psychic who at various times would work with the police to help solve crimes.  She attended Unity Spiritual Center of Denton until her death in 2008 and we would often email back and forth.

On June 25th, 2004 Polly was trying to install a new printer and nothing was working.  She had called techs who all advised her on what to do and yet she would get the message on her computer about "reinstalling windows", "damaged files", etc.  She said "I've NEVER BEEN so sick of any one thing that I can think of in my life"

She talked about the fairy tale where a man went to sleep and the elves spun his hay into gold.  Her quote was "I'm over done with "hay" and under done with "gold" lately.  My reply was "Would it scare you to wake up and see an elf looking at you?"  She said, "Probably nothing would scare me much after all this Tech Support!"

I then said, "I will go ahead visualize lots of elves working on your computer".

Then one hour later her subject title was "Elves on Avon (street where she lived).  Her entire email was below.

ELLEN,....YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS...OR...WILL YOU???

I THINK I STUMBLED AROUND INTO A BUNCH OF ELVES!!!  CALL ME RUMPELSTILTSKIN!!!

PRINTER WORKING.  DON'T KNOW HOW.

DOESN'T  MATTER

THANK YOU, GOD.

THANK YOU, ELLEN.

THANK YOU, DEAN

THANK YOU, ELLEN, AGAIN.

AFRAID TO GO TO SLEEP FOR FEAR I DREAMED IT!!

LOVE,
POLLY

I have found that sometimes when we just "let go" of a troublesome situation, then a miracle happens.  This world is a mysterious place and who knows if there might not be elves who go to work on our behalf. 

Snippets of My Past

I have been working on my days off to move my rooms around where I can have a "scrapbooking" room separate from a guest bedroom.  Everything is in a mess while I am in process.  Part of the process is going through journals that I kept from as far back as 1997.  Also as part of the process of becoming an ordained Unity minister I was required to keep journals.

At night I have set up a work center in my living room where I can watch TV and go through old notebooks.  It is enlightening to read through all the trials and tribulations that I have been through in those years. 

The interesting part for me is that the situations I dealt with at church and in my life are different but in some way they are the same.  There is always going to be group dynamics at work and family.  The names and faces may change but I think we are all challenged with people who are difficult.  The bottom line for most of these people and for ourselves is that we are all looking to be loved and appreciated.

It is poignant to read about my children and grandchildren who were so little when I wrote the journal.  In one journal I describe how my youngest grandson came to my house when he was about 3 years old and explained to me how an engine in a train set puts out smoke and today he will be a junior in college with a major in engineering.  In a description of my very young granddaughter I described how excited she got when describing clothes, etc. and she is that way today.

These journals have reminded me that I can make it through challenges and still be ok.  Life changes throughout the years.  People come and go through death, moves, or attrition but I feel it is important not to give up on ourselves and others.  Loving ourselves and others no matter what happens is the key to remaining happy and healthy.

The starting point of discovering who you are, your gifts, your talents, your dreams, is being comfortable with yourself. Spend time alone. Write in a journal. Take long walks in the woods. Robin S. Sharma

Mt. Kilauea Reflections

The volcanic eruptions that are taking place at Mt. Kilauea on the Big Island in Hawaii reminds me of a trip I made with my 2 daughters to the Big Island in 2015.  My oldest daughter has a Master's degree in geology and she was very interested in visiting both Mt. Kilauea and the tallest mountain Mauna Kea (14000 ft.).

We went to the Volcanic National Park and walked the lava trail and looked at the crater of Mt. Kilauea knowing that it has been very active in the past.  There are stories of ancient cultures who would try to appease the gods of the volcano  by sacrificing people.  My sister wrote a story from "out of the blue" about 20 years ago about a maiden who was thrown into a volcano in order to appease the the spirit of the volcano in order not to have volcanic eruptions.

We then visited Mauna Kea where there were protesters who were against the construction of a huge telescope.  According to one article this telescope would be as follows: "Compared with the largest existing visible-light telescope in the world, it would be three times as wide, with nine times more area".  These protesters said that Mauna Kea is a sacred mountain and should not have commercial enterprise and they would throw themselves on the roads of the mountain to prevent construction trucks from proceeding up the mountain.   Construction was and has been halted while both sides have a chance to present their case.   It is a classic clash between the Native Americans and their sacred land sites and the more scientific world of today.

After lots of thinking and exploring sacred lands, I personally believe that science and respect for ancient tradition can coexist.  Hawaii is working diligently to combine the 2 as they work through the opposition to the telescope.  It will be interesting to see what happens.  

Below is a photo of my 2 daughters during our trip to Hawaii.

Quick Release

On Monday I tried cooking mashed potatoes on my new Instant Pot using the pressure cooker function.  I noticed that the instructions really emphasized that it is important to allow time for the pressure inside the pot to "release".  The quickest way is to move a knob at the top from sealed to "vent".  All of a sudden a tremendous amount of steam is ventilated out and then  you are able to open the pot.

I immediately thought about our lives in the same way.  How many of us have been through high pressured days or days when we feel the pressure rising within us from things all going wrong?  Wouldn't it be nice to have a "release button" to let go of some of that pressure?

If we don't release the pressure, then we begin to feel it in our bodies.  Our blood pressure rises and then other long term problems begin to arise.  I think there are several ways to release the pressure which I have listed below:

• Exercise
• Several minutes of deep breathing/meditation
• Talking to a trusted friend or therapist
• Writing or journaling
• Getting enough sleep

If we do some of the above everyday, then we are gradually able to handle life on a minute to minute basis where the pressure does not build up to begin with.  

Below is the choice we have with Instant Pots and with life too. 

If you're using an Instant Pot, you turn the valve from sealing to venting to release the pressure 

Time Capsules

I am enjoying a steaming cup of coffee as I always do at this time of day (7:00 AM) out of a tall lavender mug.  This mug brings back memories of 25 years ago. 

I received this mug as a gift from my oldest daughter when we both lived in the Branson area.  I owned and operated a bookstore and she was working as a science teacher in Springfield, MO.  She knew how much I enjoyed having coffee in the morning and she gave me this beautiful large mug.

I have about 25 other coffee mugsand each cup brings back a memory of times past.  When I travel I often bring back a cup from the place I am visiting,  Each time I have a cup I go back in time and not only enjoy the coffee but the memories.

All of us live with objects we have acquired and each object brings up memories---some good and some not so good.  I have decided that it is important for my well being to let go of objects that bring sadness, anger or pain.  If all of us surround ourselves with objects that bring us joy, then our days are blessed.

Big Box Arrived

Over a week ago a really large box arrived from Amazon and was deposited on my front porch.  I could barely get it through my front door.  I had been warned by my 2 daughters that I would be receiving a box for my Mother's Day gift but I was amazed at the size of this box.

Yesterday was the day for opening it up so I waited until after church so I could enjoy the experience.  I was surprised and happy to find an Instant Pot.  I have been hearing about these amazing multi-function appliances that can cook soups, meat/stew, beans/chili, poultry, slow cook, rice, multigrain, porridge, steamer, saute, yogurt, and acts also as a pressure cooker.  In essence it is a "magic machine" that will allow me to give away my rice cooker and other cookers.

The cooker came with detailed instructions plus a recipe book.  My daughters told me that I can find more recipes online by googling my Instant Pot model.  After looking through the recipe book, I have decided to make a coconut chicken curry today as my very first dish. 

These type of appliances causes me to wonder what will be next on the scene for cooking.  The creative talents of people in all endeavors are amazing.  Just a few years ago there was no Alexa, Instant Pot, Cricut Machine, cell phones, computers, etc.  Cars are now intuitive.  This last weekend my sister was telling me that her new car will alert her if her hands are off the wheel and when other dangerous situations are happening. 

At times I envision our earth millions of years ago with the basics of trees, ocean, air, etc.  Throughout the years we have taken these basics and produced all kinds of products ranging from airplanes, cars, homes, appliances, etc. by just using our thinking and intuition.  I am sure that in 5 years there will be a multitude of products that will become just as common as our cell phones.  This is an interesting time to be alive.

Red Flowers, White Flowers

When I was growing up in the 1950's, everyone who attended church would either wear a red flower or a white flower.  If your mother was still alive, you would wear a red flower.  If your mother had died, you would wear a white flower.  That tradition passed away a long time ago but the tradition of flowers associated with Mother's Day is still with us.

My mother who is 98 is still here and I feel tremendously blessed. My sister and I visited with her over the weekend to celebrate Mother's Day.  She does not have hearing aids, a walker, etc. and is in good shape physically.  Her only sign of aging is that short term memory is a problem.

People have asked me about her secret of living this long and about 5 years ago I asked her and below are her responses.

1.  How has life changed since you were born?

I was born in 1919 on five acres just outside of Oklahoma City.  We had no indoor plumbing or electricity (both installed later). We had wood burning cooking and heating stoves and kerosene lamps and lanterns for light.  We had no running water but a water well with a windmill and pump.

2.  What do you remember about the depression?

I don't remember the depression affecting us as much because my Dad had a big garden (including a pear and cherry trees).  He also worked at Oklahoma Sash and Door Company and on his way home would sometimes bring old cupcakes.

3.  What sacrifices did you make during World War II?

Certain foods were rationed and we were issued stamps for them such as sugar and silk hose.  And we had to make them last.

4.  Has tithing made a positive difference in your life?

I started tithing the first dime I made and still do and I know it has made a difference as I have always had everything I ever really needed.

5.  How did you discover Unity and what difference did it make in your life?

I came across a Daily Word and liked what it said and subscribed to it.  Then my husband and I went to 11 retreats at Unity Village.  It enriched my life.

6.  To what do you attribute to your good health?

I thank God every morning for my good health, try to eat right most of the time and walk nearly every day.

7.  What advice do you have for us after having lived such a long life?

Remember God is always with us so remember that and we are never alone.  If you get depressed, take a walk and thank God for your blessings.

Ellen Davis, Audrey Arnold (Mother) and my sister, Paula Autrey

May 12th is Always a Special Day for Me

For years my family had a lot of birthdays to celebrate in May.  My grandmother had a May birthday and my dad's birthday was May 12th which also frequently coincided with Mother's Day.

Both my grandmother and father died in 1983 within 3 months of each other.  My dad died at 63 years of age of leukemia.   I had been on vacation when I received a call from my sister that he had been diagnosed with the the kind of leukemia that moves quickly and is usually always fatal.  He had just come back from vacation and could not walk up the stairs of a condo that he and my mother had owned.

His death was a huge loss for me as I considered him not only a father but a friend also.  I lived 2 blocks from my parents at the time in Euless, Texas.  Frequently I would walk to my parent's home and have coffee with him.  We shared interests in religion and would often talk about the mysteries of the universe.  I felt so fortunate to have had him in my life and was devastated when he died.

I remember so vividly my youngest daughter who was 10 years old at the time going to the hospital everyday and sitting outside his window to see him.  At that time the hospital would not let young children in to see patients.  His room was on the ground floor and she could see him that way.  She gave him notes, etc.  I often wonder if this might have contributed to her desire to become a Nurse Practitioner which she is today.

I still silently say Happy Birthday to my dad every year on this day and feel so blessed to have had a wonderful dad in my life.  Below is a photo of him with me when I was 2 years old.  (He loved wearing hats).

Newposts

Flowers for Sunday

Earlier this week I thought it would be so great to give each woman a flower on Sunday morning to celebrate the feminine side of our nature for Mother's Day.  I went to church on Wednesday (I have Mondays and Tuesdays off) and saw 2 dozen beautiful roses that were still in great shape from the Putting on the Ritz Social Auction Event  that Mabel had bought for the auction.  I called Mabel and asked her if it would be ok to give these out on Sunday if they still looked good and she said yes.

The major challenge as most of you are know is how to keep them from drooping and dying before Sunday.  James Bolgiano said he had been putting water in the vases everyday as he has been amazed at how much water the roses use each day.  Pamela Sybert said to put in aspirins to keep them vibrant so we did that at church.

When I came home, I went straight to Google and it said to clean out the vases with a small amount of bleach and warm soapy water.  Then one thing I did not know is to put the stems in warm water and trim the stems underwater at an angle.  There are all kinds of formulas for what to put in water to keep the roses fresh in the vase but I am using the little packets that come with delivered flowers in the water.

They have 2 more days to go but I am encouraged as they still look beautiful.  If they droop on Sunday morning, I will buy some more on the way to church but I am hopeful they will make it.  Am looking forward to giving a flower to each woman who walks through the door no matter if they are a mother or not. 

The photo which I quickly took below shows the state of the flowers this morning.

Popularity of HGTV

I first noticed HGTV when I would take my mother to the eye doctor.  In the waiting area there would be a TV tuned to HGTV.  The theme of most of the shows would be the same.  There would be a couple who would take clients to 3 different homes that would be "bargain priced" and meet the future homeowner's budget.  After picking a home, the home improvements would begin and the show would end with a before and after showing of the home which is usually very dramatic..  

I was always intrigued by home price of the homes in various places such as California and New York, etc. which seemed to me astronomical.  Lots of times a young couple with a baby would be contemplating which of the million dollar homes they would like to "improve".   What do these people do for a living? 

In the meantime I noticed that every doctor's office was showing HGTV which makes sense since the shows are interesting and noncontroversial.  One day I noticed that a young couple, Chip and Joanna Gaines were "improving" homes in Waco.  The popularity of this particular program soared.  I think more people could relate to these homes as the prices would often be below $70,000 and the home improvements were more in alignment with the majority of the people in the US.  Chip and Joanna would also showcase Waco and its many attractions and unique town sites.

I was amazed to see Waco become more and more popular as this is the place I often tell people is my "home town" since I lived more years of my growing up there and I graduated from high school in Waco.  When I left Waco, I would tell people my home town is Waco and most people would say they had never heard of it. 

As of yesterday, Waco has been named the No. 2 travel destination for 2018 in TripAdvisor's Travelers' Choice awards for Destinations on the Rise.  I know people are surprised but I think this is totally due to the popularity of HGTV  I think HGTV is popular because it is the program being shown in the doctor's offices everywhere.  People are flocking to Waco to see Chip and Joanna Gaine's store and now restaurant.  

The popularity of this program demonstrates 2 things to me. The first is that people long to get away from controversy that is found on most TV stations.  They can relate to and like ideas for home improvements.  The second is that the show's popularity shows the power of TV to shape people's thoughts and opinions.

Two years ago I offered a social auction event to Magnolia.  Below is a photo of Magnolia Market owned by Chip and Joanna Gaines.

22 Years Ago

In clearing out old files I came across the invoice for a computer with a printer that I bought on April 28th, 1996 for the sale price of $2118.44.  I remember that the feeling was akin to buying a new car.  It took me a long time to really buy it but I knew I needed it for so many things that I was doing.  At the time I lived in Ft. Smith, Arkansas and was the spiritual leader of Unity of Ft. Smith. 

The specifics of the computer were so minuscule compared to the powerful computers of today.  The disks were huge and floppy and the system ran on DOS.

               Hard drive:  1085.9 MB
               RAM:  16 MB
               Video Memory:  1 MB
               Speed:  100 MHZ


That purchase was made 22 years ago and the changes in our technology have been mind boggling.  It was that year when I paid monthly to be on the internet which was using a telephone line for very slow connection.  I would stay up late connecting to people and staying current with events.

I remember being thrilled with the purchase as it was up to date for its time.  At that time I would have been amazed if I could have seen in the future at the small compact computers and laptops that we have now.I wonder now what the changes will be like in the next 20 years.

Exploring the inner space of spirit is the next big frontier.  I think we are at the forefront of revolution of thought about our spirituality and the phenomenal inner potential that we all possess.

Thinking about Roses

One of my fondest memories from my childhood is of my father growing rose bushes.  He planted them along the fence, around his mailbox and in front of his house.  My mother enjoyed them as well and her favorite flowers today are roses.

All through the years I have loved them and have always wanted to have rose bushes but moved a lot or lived in an apartment.  Then I moved to the home I am in now and tried several times unsuccessfully to grow them.

Then this year I have 2 rose bushes that are producing.  (See photo below of a rose from my bush).

I have been thinking a lot about how planting one bush results in beautiful flowers everyday.  Then my mind goes to the idea about how one idea planted into our thinking can result in abundance also.  I think the world is a lavish place with ideas of abundance everywhere.  It is up to us to plant an idea, take care of the idea in doing the work and then harvest the abundance.

A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world. 
Leo Buscaglia

Enjoying the Era of the 1920's

On Saturday night Lowell and I went to Unity Spiritual Center of Denton and were transported back to the 1920's.  What a fun night!  Pam Livingston was the photographer who took great individual photos against a backdrop of the 20's era.  There was a variety of finger food.  The church had been transformed into a fun atmosphere of the 20's.

The whole evening was around the theme of Putting on the Ritz which was a major fundraiser for the church with a Silent Auction of baskets and social events that are interesting.  Kay Lamb and Kathryn Kalahan assisted by Lisa Allen and Shari Turner sang and entertained.  I came home with baskets and a social calendar that is full.

Best of all $8500 was raised last night.  This whole idea was brought to the church by Mabel Calhoun who has been phenomenal in spearheading this event in a way that everyone enjoys.  Thanks to everyone who volunteered in any way.

Mabel and Allen Calhoun

Fabulous Susan Keith

Jim and Carla Quinn

Our Entertainers---Kay Lamb, Shari Turner, Kathryn Kalahan, Lisa Allen

Ellen Davis and Lowell Green